I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
