Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
