Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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