i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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