i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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