dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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