his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
