She is in my trunk
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
