I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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