so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
This toilet bowl is my home.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
