Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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