We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
