i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
