is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
as a side note pls kill me
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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