recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
