So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
