im drinking this country out of the recession.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
