guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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