So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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