You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize