I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My liver just had a heart attack.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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