If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize