i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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