I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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