Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize