You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize