who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
