she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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