The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm passing your future prison.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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