Don't make out with my wife yet
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
