You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
