It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
