you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
