I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
