Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize