you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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