he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
