i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
