Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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