She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
