Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
