We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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