____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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