Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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