Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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