i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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