Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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