I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
