Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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