Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
