this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
