so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
