You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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