The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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