I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
