i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
