how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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