The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
