Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize