there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
