Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
