Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We are all done wearing pants today
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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