i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
