Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
worst night to have a conscience
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize