Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
