Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
