Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
