i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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