"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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