id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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