the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize