He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Randomize
