I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
