I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We talked him into tasing himself.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
