I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
too bad you live with your parents still
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
