i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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