While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
