Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
