yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
