I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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